Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
