i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
