Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize