i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
