I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
