i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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