Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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