I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
