look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
