i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
