dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
