His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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