He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
