My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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