Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
