Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
