I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
