i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
