Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
