id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
