This is not my ceiling
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
