So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I forget how to act sober
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
