Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
