i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
