Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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