a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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