it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
