i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
