My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
