I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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