Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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