At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize