I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
