I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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