We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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