If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
