no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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