She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
