look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
