PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
