real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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