well I can't set my house on fire every night
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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