I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
