We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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