just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
