wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
