Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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