He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
