If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
