i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he told me I talked like a deaf person
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
