wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
