Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
