My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
