yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
