Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
