You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
