the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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