Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am available for nakedness
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
