We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
