kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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