the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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