Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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