her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
