sarcasm needs its own font
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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