does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
